actually, I'm a sock model
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
