A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I need moral support for this bender
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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