I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
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