But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
