life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
