I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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