you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
