i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
