oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
