pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
