So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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