Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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