dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
