This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
