proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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