Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
