Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
