sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
