She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
