everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
