maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
