So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Your penis caused this!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
