Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
