is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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