I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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