I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
