CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
