my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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