Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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