I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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