hotel room ftw
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
