Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
you never un-have a 4some
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
