You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
