Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
