How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
