I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
