What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
