only you would photoshop your dick
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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