kristin has been a bad kristin
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
