so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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