The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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