last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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