What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
