I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
