i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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