At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
