we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
