I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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