who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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