Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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